Some times life just happens that way...

Its odd to think of your own life and ponder on why the scenes play out the way they do. Its almost like an out of body experience. Not only were you involved in the process that got you from point A to point B, but now you are sitting next to yourself wondering what was I thinking or was I?
I don't often try to go back to the past, mainly because I don't want to get stuck in it. That and because what is done is done and my husband really hates it when I bring it up, but after all I am a girl and I base my future off of my experiences and those experiences can only come from the past. So what's a girl to do? If anyone has the answer please let me know.
So what does this have to do with life? Everything! I have no way to control every aspect of how things will happen in my life because its not just my life. I have a husband and two children and things that happen to them or choices they make will inevitable effect not just them, but all of us as a whole. The things we do or don't do. The things we say or don't say. Heck what to make for dinner, the laundry, jobs, neighbors, church, money it all comes into play at some point. But at what point do we let these out side factors dictate how we treat each other as a family?
Its true we are going through a ruff spot right now and things seem to be a little less than satisfying. So when did we get so caught up in this stereotypical rationalization that the husband has to be the bread winner and have the good job? Now I'm not saying I'm not grateful for my part-time job at the Hospital here, because I'm feeling very lucky that I even have that right now. Although I do admit I miss spending time with my kids. Its not an easy job, but like today after going on walks and playing at two different parks it was fun, more fun than working is and for the most part less stressful. So why is it harder for men? I know it makes him feel like less of a man for not working, but why not enjoy what you can, while you can? After a spat with the husband I usually feel one sided about this particular issue. To me life boils down to being happy with where you're at and what you have and not so much for what may be missing. I miss a lot of things, but I can't change it. At least right now in this moment I have two beautiful, health, sleeping boys. A husband who has gone for some R&R and a place to call home. So when I think about why life happens the way it does and even though it makes no sense. At least I have a life.