So I know its been a while since my last post and honestly I should write about all the wonderful times I've had and all the funny things the kids have done. Honestly all in all its been a pretty easy going month.
However its now July..... So much time has passed since that day back in February and truly I'm stressed. I'm feeling an overwhelming amount of pressure to not fold in this tuff time, but I'm really starting to freak-out. I can not even imagine how this is effecting my husbands moral. I keep plugging along hoping, praying that we will just make it, but to put it into perspective I'm REALLY FREAKING OUT!!! As well I probably should be. I mean who knows what will happen? The time is approaching that the unemployment benefit will run out. Then what? I know he can apply for an extension, but there's always that what if lingering in the back of my mind?
We have tried so hard to take care of everything, but the pressure is mounting. The bills come every month and the money has gone right out the door with it.
He's had interview after interview, he's traveled to great distances, he's even applied for things inside the box we live in, yet still nothing... So yes I believe that freaking out is the correct way to be feeling. I guess the reality of it is that bad things happen to good people. In general I don't go out of my way to make things or people do or feel bad. Yet I feel like the rain cloud just won't leave.
A wonderful example of this is the dishwasher we just bought. Apparently it was a close-out and as luck would have it on recall too. So as we have fought with Maytag over the past month they have finally agreed to replace it. However it always comes with a catch and usually in the end we'll end up paying to get a new one installed, oh and we'll have to wait for processing which takes another 30 days or so. Arug! Seriously!!! Makes me just want to freak-out more. How is it that of all the things to happen to us this would be it. Especially because we're trying to sell our home so we don't end up losing it.. Grrr comes to mind.
So although I sound very unhappy with the way things are turning out (because honestly I am) I still have a little flame in my heart that tells me it will all work out. Even if its not the way I want it to.
In the end this will pass and we'll go onto better things. Unfortunately in the mean time I'll just drive my self mad trying to figure out how to stay a float with the swirling pool of death circling my head. I know so cheery! But I have to get it out some how and why not do it on my blog where no one can see me fighting back the tears?
By the way in no form of this post should anyone think that I'm depressed, depression is a whole other ugly beast that I have yet to experience. I just have a sick sense of humor in all of this. Probably because there is absolutely nothing else I could do or could have done to change the outcome of my so called life. It is what it is and I'll deal with it as it comes and at the end of the day I have a wonderful husband who I love and he loves me and two very beautiful children that tell me how much they love me.
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